When big challenges hit, we desperately want to find a magic cure - something that can make it all better.
But, unfortunately, this is a myth! Sadly, in almost all cases, there’s no magic place, person, cure, secret, amount of money, amount of success, formula or fairytale to be found.
Rather, in my opinion, it is possible to empower yourself to intentionally use what you do control (i.e. personal boundaries). And because each of us are going to use our personal boundaries differently, we are all going to have different routes to successfully living with peace, joy, and love despite big challenges.
Living with big challenges can feel like walking in sinking sand - and it can be easy to feel hopeless and begin to believe that your life is always going to be unhappy - but, this simply is not true!
You’re not beyond hope or helpless.
And, there is a huge basket of boundaries that you (and only you) DO have control over no matter what big challenge(s) you are living with. And as my Mother always tells me, “You can ALWAYS make a plan”.
How often do we tell ourselves, “If only… (if only I wasn’t broke, if only I was healthy, if only I didn’t have this big challenge, if only I had more time/money/love/success, if only…).”
No, this is also a myth! Our happiness is the result of choices we make and actions we take. It's not people, health, success, circumstances, what we do or don’t have that makes us happy or not. Happiness is a continuous choice to notice what is good, what we do have, what we can do, what is working, what we can be grateful for.
I regularly meet people who have signifianctly more luck, money, health, and success than I do - yet, why are they not much happier than I am? Why do I have contentment, joy, gratitude, love, and peace - and so many others don’t?
Experts like Martela and Steger in their 2016 paper say that we need to have significance and purpose and be able to make sense of the world in order to experience life as meaningful. I honestly believe that we can only find these when we are living out our truth (i.e. our personal boundaries).
…you’re validating who you are, what you want, need, hope for, think, feel, and believe.
And you begin to do stuff like:
Give yourself validation (FINALLY!!!!)
Give yourself the benefit of the doubt (YEAH!!!!)
Find practical ways to support yourself (AT LAST!!!!)
Slowly notice and silence your inner critic (YAY!!!)
Begin to think kindly about yourself, …and surprise yourself that this makes you think kinder about others too (WHOOHOO!!!!)
Begin to have way more realistic expectations for yourself (FOR REAL!!!!)
Begin to have way more confidence in what you want to focus on and discover that this gives you more clarity about taking intentional action too! (WITH CONFIDENCE!!!!).
You want a long-term solution and you’re prepared to work to get it.
You’re ready to grow and improve your life, even if it means you have to look at the parts of yourself that make you feel uncomfortable.
You’re willing to make coaching calls a priority in your life or you can attend a one day Boundaries Bootcamp in Cape Town.
You aren’t in a current crisis or mental health crisis.
“It made such a huge impact on my emotional state and has helped me to focus on what I really want.
Anyone who works with Lynda in future is going to find that it is a life-changing process.”
“Lynda’s training has helped me feel more at ease, start new hobbies and start a self care plan!”
“Since working with Lynda I have set better boundaries in my relationships, which has defined the behaviour that I am not okay with in my relationships. This has subsequently led to healthier relationships (and in some instances, the end of toxic ones).
I've also learned the importance of balance in my life, which includes self-care and the importance of saying "no". This has considerably improved my mental health.”
I’m Lynda Wright, a certified life coach living in Cape Town, South Africa. I help people with big challenges to live with peace, joy, and love by empowering themselves with personal boundaries - no matter how big their challenge(s).
Book to have a call with me | +27 (0) 60 972 1254 | firstname.lastname@example.org
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