But you’ve got to REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want to heal.
In fact, if you don’t really want to heal or you’re not sure… I can tell you straight away that this is not for you.
If you really want to heal and have been trying SO hard to have stable emotions without any luck, then this is for YOU!!!
I’ve had 25+ years of feeling SH%!#@ and pretending that everything was okay and trying and trying and trying to figure myself and my problems out. Trying to have stable emotions felt like trying to grab hold of a slippery seal.
You can let that slippery seal of trying and trying and trying GO, because I have a way that actually works!
And I always thought that was just what I had to deal with. That all the problems meant I had to also have all the unstable emotions —— but thats simply NOT true.
Even if you have plenty of reasons WHY —— you can still stop most, if not all, of the Titanic crashes.
Unstable emotions, including anger and rage, were problems I picked up in childhood, as so many of us do when we develop it as a coping method after periods of extreme stress.
When I was searching for answers most of what has now been discovered about complex PTSD and emotional Dysregulation wasn’t known. Even now it’s newer knowledge that specialists aren’t always trained in.
My complex PTSD and emotional Dysregulation created so many problems for me, including disassociation, a lack of boundaries, guilt, resentment, anger, rage, jealousy, irritation, and bitterness (to name just a few).
But over the past 25+ years I‘ve slowly learned the importance of Self-Regulation and that it CAN be learned.
I grew up in a “Keep Calm and Trust God” environment, but while I still believe in trusting God, there’s a bit more to Self-Regulation that needs to be learned.
Self-Regulation usually begins developing in childhood, and improves as it is practiced and improved in adolescence and adulthood. But, it can be learned at any age.
In an ideal situation children learn Self-Regulation through warm and responsive relationships and watching the adults around them.
Sustained stress over an extended period of time can interupt and even completely disrupt this normal learning of Self-Regulation.
Sustained stress over an extended period of time could include poverty, racism, illness - both physical or mental, abuse, feelings of threat, etc. For more about where learning Self-Regulation could have gotten interrupted read here.
Self-Regulation includes the ability to regulate reactions to strong emotions, calm down after something exciting or upsetting, focus on a task or decision, refocus attention, control impulses, get along with people calmly, and act in your own best interest even when feelings suggest taking a different action.
Self-Regulation is necessary to learn and focus, stick with difficult tasks, consider other peoples perspectives and see things from both sides, interact appropriately, problem-solve, manage difficult or tricky situations, make long-range decisions, think things through, and learn to adjust in new situations.
So if unstable emotions very likely have resulted in Self-Regulation not being properly learned, what has happened instead of learning Self-Regulation? The answer is very likely that Dysregulation is what is occuring.
On MRI’s and brain scans Dysregulation looks like the brain wave equivalent of a dog walking on a piano - discordant and out of sync. Dysregulation occurs when brain waves and some of your body systems get out of sync when certain triggers happen.
Dysregulation is a brain injury that usually begins developing in childhood as a result of sustained stress over an extended period of time.
Often this develops as a protective mechanism to guard a child’s developing brain from the potential harm of sustained stress over an extended period of time. This is a brilliant coping strategy for a child, but as you get older it hurts you rather than helping you.
Researchers can see on MRI’s and brain scans that when Dysregulation occurs the reasonable and rational part of your brain is temporarily being overwhelmed by the emotional part of your brain.
When you are Dysregulated you feel flooded with emotions like panic or rage and lose the ability to focus.
You might feel an urgent need to say and do things that are totally unlike your usual self, but also have trouble expressing your thoughts.
Afterward, you might feel completely confused about why you said and did those things.
You need to learn to accept 4 things - I call them skills because you can learn every single one of them step-by-step. And there’s 2 that are optional, but recommended.
And with each skill you learn, you will gain more and more control of your rage and anger.
Most of the things you’ve tried did probably help you feel temporarily better. Or help you get over the current crisis. I know for me, some even saved my life a few times.
For me, no matter how hard I tried, I’d always land up in chaos again and again and again.
Simple, but powerful.
This is how you can heal.
This has helped me to persevere despite rape, Type 1 diabetes, malnutrition due to undiagnosed celiac disease.
And to defeat disassociation, complex PTSD, emotional Dysregulation and three decades of anger and rage.
But, how? We’ve heard again and again about positive self-talk, but somehow it’s just not that simple. Watch this free video training to find out why this doesn’t work and how to talk back to your thoughts and your inner critic so that it really begins to work.
Why positive self-talk and affirmations aren't working for you
ONE big secret that can finally make all your effort to silence your inner critic begin to really work
THREE practical ways to apply this to make massive gains in silencing your inner critic, taming your self-talk and finally getting a handle on your thoughts
You've tried SO hard to sort out emotions like anger, rage, regret, resentment, sadness, jealousy and bitterness, but stable emotions and feeling 'good enough' are just evading you!
You're tired of this rabbit hole of feeling SH%!#@ from everything you’ve lost, everything you haven’t had, aren’t having, aren’t doing, etc.
You're sick of feeling like this and pretending that everything is okay!
My parents have been married for 50+ years 💕
I ❤ dogs & teddy bears 🧸 - the little black dog in the photo is Traxx - the first dog I ever fostered and a complete foster fail! She was a street dog and now expects to get tucked into bed with a fluffy blanket every night.
The handsome man is my 💖 husband. He’s hilarious and keeps me from being too serious. We met online when we were both in our late thirties and had almost given up on finding love.
With diabetes and celiac disease I’ve got lots of diet restrictions… but… 🍿🍫☕ I always find a way to keep popcorn, chocolate and coffee in my diet!
My guilty pleasure is sitting in my PJ’s binge-watching Netflix all day long occasionally 😎📽️
Now you know a bit about me, I’d love to know more about you!
I don’t want you to spend years and years of your life dealing with the tips of your emotional iceberg. You don’t need to be a Queen of cover-up emotions like I was or for as long as I was.
For 25+ years I tried to fix the tips of my icebergs without looking at the real big chunk of ice under the surface. The chunk of ice under the surface wasn’t what had or hadn’t happened to me, it was what I hadn’t learned. The Self-Regulation, boundaries, dealing with feeling vulnerable, and every other skill in the 4 Plus 2 Format.
It’s taken me a REALLY long time to figure out what works and actually heals. I don’t want you to have to take as long to find help and healing! Because there are ways to learn Self-Regulation, there are fixes that make a profound difference to help your unstable emotions, and there’s absolutely no need to live with these problems.
I’ve healed and changed and found tricks, hacks and healing fixes that have WORKED! And I want you to have this too! So I want to give you free training to get you started with one of the skills you’ll need.
Begin now with my FREE training to learn how to control your self-talk and thought stories.
I’m Lynda Wright, a certified life coach living in Cape Town, South Africa. I help fix unstable emotions so you can become the confident, capable and courageous person you are meant to be! Get in touch:
Book a consulation | +27 (0) 60 972 1254 | email@example.com
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